Suppression
by TeresaCaitlin
Summary: The jewel is completed and gone, InuYasha is still a hanyou. But is his demon blood starting to overcome him? What happens when he does something even Kagome can't forgive? VERY DARK. Do not read if you like happy endings.
1. Prelude

_***I do not own InuYasha, any other characters, the storyline, and I do not make money off of this story.***_

**Prelude****  
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**Present Day**

They found her in the river.

InuYasha pulled her out carefully. He looked a hundred years older, his once bright shining moonlight hair seemed to have died, laying stringy and limply against him. His golden eyes which once harbored mirth were now dark, shadows of agony and despair hidden in their depths. He had deep circles under his eyes and everyone knew he hadn't slept well in months.

He moved his hand to brush away the hair from her face, his hand hesitating at the last minute, as if he expected her to open her eyes, or expected the touch to shock him. As he touched her face he visibly flinched, her skin cold and almost waxy, not warm and soft like it had been.

Then again, her skin had been cold long before her heart stopped. She hadn't laughed in weeks.

InuYasha brushed her hair out of her face, wishing she would open her eyes; tell him to fuck off, tell him to hold her, tell him anything. He continued to move his hand, adjusting the red tie so it was centered. It bothered the hell out of him, always seeing it laying it to the side. He moved his hand down further, hesitating yet again. He sharply inhaled and squeezed his eyes shut before opening them again, as if he were wishing it was an illusion. He rested his hand on the swell of her belly, jutting out, filling his open palm, and InuYasha willed the life inside of her to kick, to give some sign that it was still alive.

There was nothing.

InuYasha pulled his hand away, his head dropping and his damp hair fell to cover his face, as if it were the only comfort in the world. His sadness, his anguish, his bitter agony hung around him like a thick fog, draining out whatever was left of his soul. The demon exterminator and the monk looked helplessly at their friend, observing her cold, wet body. Their longing to hear the girl's voice, her laugh, practically overwhelmed them both, and they too bowed their heads, as if to pay their respects to the girl who had kept them all together.

The eerie silence was broken by InuYasha, who out of nowhere thrust himself across her body, as if to warm her up. His sobs filled the forest, the sound making both of his companions flinch. Suddenly he lifted himself, his body still racked with sobs, the tears dripping from his face, each representing a fallen regret. He moved until his face was inches from hers, leaning down to capture one last kiss with the only woman who'd truly captured his heart. He buried his face in her chest and let out a cry, a wail so haunting, so chilling, so utterly devastating that it seemed everything in the world stopped, to pay homage to this heartbreaking scene.

"Kagome," he whispered, his voice hollow. "Kagome," he spoke again, his voice cracking, almost pleading. The demon slayer had fallen into the monk's arms, tears slipping silently down her face.

InuYasha's next words were spoken so softly that it seemed as if the grass itself had leaned towards him to hear his next words.

"Kagome...why did you let me do this to you?"


	2. Chapter One

_**A/N:**__ Thank you to those of you who are reading my story! I just wanted to say if you have any questions about my story please do NOT hesitate to leave a review and your email address and I will get to you with answers as soon as I can. Also, if you have any ideas/things you'd like to see develop in the story leave those in a review as well, and I will for sure give you credit if I decide to use one. Please, if you have criticisms of any sort state them politely, and I will do my best to fix the matter. So please keep reading_ Suppression_ and I hope you enjoy!_

TeresaCaitlin

**Chapter One**

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Gods he was so close. She could practically feel his skin on hers. Kagome forced her body to keep running, although her mind screamed _"No! This is InuYasha you're running away from you baka!"_ Blindly she tore through the forest. All those years of non-stop walking had aided her legs well, she may not be very strong physically to defend herself, but her legs might be able to help her outrun whatever was chasing her; which she was doing now.

"Come back here Kagome! There's nothing to be afraid of!"

Kagome squeezed her eyes shut; her lungs and side were burning; she'd been running from him for what seemed like ages and she wondered why he hadn't caught her already, she wasn't stupid, she knew she couldn't outrun a hanyou. The gods graced her and soon ahead she spotted a cave that she could hide in and hopefully steal a few moments of rest.

She knew she was in big shit this time.

Kagome dived in, lightly crying out at the small vicious braches and twigs hat tore at her soft flesh. "This is what I get for trying to leave him;" she panted, scooting back in the tiny little cave. She stayed for a few moments before scooting forward to peek out; there was a complete silence that she hadn't noticed before, no crunching of leaves, no birds chirping, no rustling of the trees. _"Maybe I got lucky and he decided to give up and leave,"_ Kagome thought foolishly. After staying in that position for a few more moments to make sure InuYasha wasn't coming she let out a sigh of relief and turned around to rest a while longer before walking back to the well.

"Thought you could escape me, didn't you bitch?"

Kagome barely had time to register the red eyes and the fanged mouth that grinned down at her as InuYasha thrust his clawed hand through her stomach.

Five Years Earlier

Kagome sat up quickly, panting for breath. She was absolutely coated in sweat and her legs ached as if she'd just been forced to walk across Japan. She wiped her hand across her head and took a quick survey of her friends to make sure she hadn't awakened anyone. Sango and Miroku were on the opposite side of the fire; well, it wasn't really a fire anymore, just the remains of one and a few glowing embers that crackled; Sango was sleeping peacefully curled up into Kirara, and Miroku lay against the bottom of a tree trunk, his chest rising and falling and a slight grin on his face. Kagome didn't even want to guess as to what was making him grin like that. InuYasha was nowhere to be found, Kagome soon realized. She figured he had left to go sleep somewhere else, they'd gotten into an argument before bed and Kagome smiled at the memory.

_"InuYasha, I told you! I don't have anymore ninja food! You're going to have to deal with these sandwiches I made!" Kagome shouted. She was irritated, hot, tired, and to be honest she just wanted to punch InuYasha in the face. He'd been complaining all day about wanting his stupid "ninja food"._

"What the hell Kagome!" InuYasha yelled, also extremely frustrated. She knew it was his favorite and pretty much all he ate, why the hell couldn't she bring more of it! "Fucking useless," he muttered under his breath, hungry enough to eat whatever those stupid sandwiches of hers were.

"SIT DAMNIT"

Kagome frowned, running her hand over her face and closing her eyes. This wasn't the first time she'd had a strange dream like that, she'd been having them for almost two weeks now, and the dreams were never different, they were always the same, beginning with her running in the forest and ending with his claw going through her torso. She winced remembering it. What on earth did she do each time to make him so angry? She promised him she would never leave and she meant it. "This is getting more and more frustrating," she mumbled to her hands, which held her face. There were so many questions she had about the dream but she had no answer; she had tried mentioning it to Sango on one of their many adventures to the hot springs but she was too scared that InuYasha would be listening closeby. She wouldn't even try mentioning it to Miroku, he would blab to InuYasha the moment they were alone, he was like that.

Kagome sighed and sat up, figuring she would walk over to the stream nearby and wash her face to clear her mind before returning to sleep.

The night was beautiful, the air was crisp and clean, unlike the air in the modern era that was filled with smog and smoke and dust and other disgusting odors. It was one of the many things she loved about the Feudal Era. The trees were taller, much taller than the ones that grew back home (with the exception of the Goshinboku), and they cast a covering over the forest ground. The sky was pitch black against the stars. One could spend an eternity trying to count them all. The moon was almost full and very bright, shining down on the forest, making it look like something someone would see in a painting or a dream.

She found the stream quickly, following its soothing sound and knelt down, scooping the clear frigid liquid in her cupped hands and splashing it on her face, doing so another two times. Kagome wiped her face on her shirt and stood up, yawning and stretching out her arms. The crickets were singing her a lullaby, and suddenly the air became very chill and Kagome was eager to return to her warm sleeping bag where she could hopefully return to her slumber and not be plagued by nightmares of a certain silver-haired hanyou shoving his hand through her body.

As she turned around to head back to camp she looked up and jumped, yelping and clutching at her chest. InuYasha stood there, looking menacing and beautiful, his silver hair glowing and his eyes shining, his oh so sexy lips fixed in a frown meant for her. She hadn't even heard him approach. "I-I-InuYasha, what are you doing up? Its so late, I thought you were asleep like everyone else!" Her voice shook despite the calm resolve she tried to keep on her face. She could tell by the smirk forming rapidly on his face she was doing a very poor job indeed of hiding her surprise. She felt guilty, like she had just been caught sneaking a cookie out of the cookie jar, even though she knew she had done nothing wrong.

"Well well, little girl, it's past your bedtime isn't it?"


	3. Chapter Two

_**A/N: **__Thanks to everyone who's been reading so far! :) I hope you enjoy it. Just to remind you, this will be a VERY dark fic, some very not nice things are going to happen, and I'm pretty sure this is going to be a pretty long story. Just sit back, enjoy the ride, and let me know how I'm doing! Your reviews are what keep me going, I'm also welcome to fresh ideas! Expect an update at least once a week._

_-TeresaCaitlin_

**Chapter Two**

Kagome jumped at his voice, the deep, rich sound filling the forest and laying a blanket of anticipation lying around them. She closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them again, hoping for some reason that he wouldn't be there. But sure enough, he was, and the none-too-happy look on his face suggested he was not happy with her.

"Well?"

She looked up at him again, meeting his gaze, completely forgetting that he had spoken not even five minutes ago. "I'm sorry. What did you say?"

InuYasha rolled his eyes heavenward. '_Shit, she's gonna drive me crazy one of these days.'_ He sighed. "I _said, _isn't it past your bedtime?"

Kagome's look of surprise and guilt quickly faded away into one of annoyance, and she braced her legs apart, placing her hands on her hips and settling him with a glare that rested in her narrowed eyes. "Who says when my bedtime is?"

InuYasha shrugged. "Feh. I do, wench."

Kagome's eyebrow twitched and her gaze became all the more deadly. Except this time, InuYasha didn't back down, didn't run away from fear of being sat. Instead he marched right up to her and took her chin in his hand, staring down into her eyes and licking his lips as he carefully scrutinized her face, as if searching for something. His brows furried together worriedly and he took no notice of that fact that Kagome was staring up at him as if she had just noticed he had two noses. "You have circles under your eyes; you aren't sleeping well. Why?"

InuYasha's strange behavior was running through her mind. He had never acted like this before. Why, he seemed worried, almost a little scared. She couldn't make sense of it. "I-I...I just...I've been having nightmares, is all."

InuYasha's eyebrows scrunched closer together as she turned her face away from him, her eyes downcast. "Nightmares? Of what?"

Kagome sighed. She really didn't want to tell him. InuYasha would never deliberately hurt her, even in his full youkai state he had never really harmed her. "It's nothing InuYasha. May I please go now?" Her voice was soft, almost pleading, as if she had all of a sudden found herself in a situation she didn't want to be in.

A hurt look flashed across InuYasha's face for a moment. Her face had always been easy to read for him, Kagome wore the emotions on her face as easily as the yellow backpack that she always carried around. Yet this time, she was closing herself off.

Silence hung heavily over the two, filling their ears with nothingness, neither of them knowing what to say. Kagome began to walk off, taking his silence as his permission to let her leave, and she slowly began stepping her way over the sharp twigs she hadn't really noticed before; it would be fall soon. Before she had made it very far she felt a warm hand wrap itself around her arm and pull her back, but before she could lose her balance she felt another strong arm surround her, and she met two very amber eyes that searched hers, leaving her feeling naked and uneasy as his eyes searched her own, searching for some unknown secret that lay hidden behind her chocolate eyes. A light came into his eyes then, except that this light wasn't happy, it was almost painful. "It's me you're having nightmares about."

His suspicions were confirmed when guilt flooded her eyes like tears, and she bit her lip.

"Kagome, you don't have to be afraid of me. I'm never going to hurt you, ever, I can't. If I did I would have to kill myself. I can never hurt you, or leave you. I can't tell you why right now, but...just trust me," he finished, his voice soft and husky, suddenly awakening a very different feeling in her. She knew, somehow, she knew in her heart that he was right, he never could hurt her, but now a curiosity had been born, and she wanted to know why he couldn't tell her. "InuYasha...why can't you tell me?"

InuYasha looked into her eyes, the haunting emptiness swallowing her. "I don't know how to say it."

Kagome frowned, uneasy about what he'd said. She slowly eased her way out of his grip and looked at him. She figured the best way to figure this out would be to talk to him about it. "InuYasha...I keep having nightmares of me trying to leave you and then end up dying because you kill me."

InuYasha looked down, unable to meet her gaze. "Do you really think I could do that?" He asked in a haunting whisper that tore at her heart.

Kagome looked at him, not hesitating in her answer. "No, I trust you, InuYasha." She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, embracing him.

InuYasha quickly wrapped his arms around her, burying his nose in her hair, inhaling her sweet fragrance. "Good. Then let those nightmares kiss my ass. I'm never going to kill you."

**Present Day**

He was going to have to tell her mother.

He'd chosen to bury her there, in the Sengoku Jidai, it was her true home, the place where she'd died, the place where she lived the most important years of her life.

Sango and Miroku began to dig a grave together, they'd chosen the spot under the Goshinboku, where InuYasha loved to go and wait for her, because they knew that he iwould/i wait for her, forever.

The two looked at each silently, exchanging knowing glances, knowing that it wouldn't be long before they had to dig another grave.

InuYasha would follow Kagome in death, just as he had in life.

**Five Years Earlier**

It had been a week, and the nightmares were over. Kagome and InuYasha went about their relationship awkwardly, the words that had been exchanged in the forest a week prior stuck both in their minds, but neither said anything about it out of embarrassment, so nothing about the incident was said, not even to their friends.

Kagome sighed wearily. InuYasha's words had been running through her mind for weeks now, and she just didn't think she could go much longer without mentioning it to SOMEONE. She decided to use her favorite excuse for needing alone time with Sango.

"InuYasha? Do you know if there are any hot springs or anywhere else Sango and I can bathe? I feel absolutely filthy," she said, ending her statement with a look of digust as the dirt clinging to her legs became suddenly known. At least she wasn't TOTALLY lying, right?

Sango raised a brow at her sister figure, she knew by the look on Kagome's face there was more there than dirt, and she was thankful that the young miko had said something, she was dying to figure out why InuYasha and Kagome had been acting so strange lately.

"Feh, you're lucky wench, theres one close by, we'll make camp and then you and Sango can go bathe," InuYasha huffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he walked slightly behind the rest of the group.

Kagome squealed in delight and hurriedly began to get out the things they would need for the night, excited to share with Sango all the thoughts resting within her.


End file.
